6 months later and there are between 11 and 15 pills ingested daily. one lupron shot every 2 months and new pain that just won’t let up. here’s one for the nerves, here’s one for the brain, here’s one for the nausea; this one will help the nerves and the sleep. take this to regulate the hot flashes. here is one for the headaches. migraines might occur, and this one interacts with that one which may induce seizures. these will make you constipated, so take these to poop. be conscious that there is no blood in the stool, because that could be from the inner surgical site. here are iron pills that will make your stool black, the same as if there were blood in the stool. here are two inhalers for proper lung function to remain while ingesting all medications. if the pain persists, take three pills instead of two, and two pills instead of one. increase both to five at max until the next visit. don’t drive after six and don’t try to function before 10. taking three of these a day is no way to live, so here are five a day that do the same thing but with a different name. here are pills for something we are trying to understand, but don’t. we see the pain but sometimes the brain and nerves think it still has pain, even though it is not there. your pain is there but we are going to trick it into not being there. oh, there was minimal pain leading up to the surgery and now there is massive pain daily? no, it’s not because we took out a third of your reproductive system that had intertwined behind your pelvic bone, and then stapled 8 inches of skin length and 7 inches of depth. it’s the pain from the disease, not from the surgery. but this is better than removing the whole thing because you’re not even 30 and you have no idea what you’re talking about when you say you don’t want to bare children, or don’t mind taking just one hormone replacement pill a day for the rest of your life.
oh yes, you’re all right - getting through post op of having full removal wouldn’t have been half as fun as this is turning out to be.
in case you didn’t get any of that, the operation happened and things got removed, but nothing was fixed or maintained. i’m having pain worse than over and nothing has been positive from the experience. i’ve lost people who i thought were friends and managed o hurt everyone in my life and be the biggest problem of all, while trying to help situations by, of course, only making them worse. i saw two friends in two months and managed to never see one again. people wrote but never called, doctors said i was doing fine even though i could barley walk. driving wasn’t an option for 3 months, and solid food hardly occurred. thanksgiving was a joke and christmas was me in the kitchen for 12 hours, on my own due to the step asshole being just that, and the mom being layed up from her emergency surgery that had happened 1 month after mine. any recovery time was out the door and i’m glad i was there for her, but i’ll hate him every day for that.
i suppose the three friends who are still all about the tumbl have influenced a regular post action from me, again. the good news is that i am going back to work and trying to make new friends or social acquaintances’ and just getting shit together finally. i have enough new trauma to keep shit going and images of whatever for whomever or, you get it.